


By Your Side

by loveiscosmicsin



Series: By Your Side (Non-Canon WIP) [1]
Category: Final Fantasy 15, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ambiguous or Implied Relationship of GentiaLuna, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drabble Request, F/F, FFXV Spoilers, Gen, IgNoct, Implied Torture of the Extreme Variety, Insanity, M/M, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Nothing explicit, Post-Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Torture, You're gonna see hints of OT4 Ladies except for Iris she's a teenager no shipping her with adults, androphobia, character death mention, drabble prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:11:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8366608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveiscosmicsin/pseuds/loveiscosmicsin
Summary: It was assumed that everything would return to normal after the young king's rescue, but Ignis noticed that something was off about Noctis. Noctis... came back wrong.Written before the game came out, will incorporate with Versus XIII ideas and the Omen trailers.This will be continued, focusing on Ignis' coping, external and internal conflicts, Noctis, and Ignis and Noctis' relationship, other characters' involvement with the story. There's already a plot I had that won't be reflected too much on canon, but we'll see.





	1. Helpless

##  **[From the Post-Trauma Sentence Meme (angst) ](https://loveiscosmicsin.tumblr.com/post/143713355823/post-trauma-sentence-meme-angst)  
**

  * **“Shh… Shh, I’m here… It’s okay, it’s over…” - IgNoct**



This prompt request is so old, thankfully I had the link saved in my drafts. The specifics I can remember have something to do with… sensitive materials involving multiple counts of violation, desecration, and devastation done to one character. It’s not going to be explicit but imagine all the heinous acts that could be done to a person and you would be hitting the nail on the head to what happened to said character. I was worried about how I could address the issue then I got inspired by [@ataraxetta](https://tmblr.co/mAfjSLtzTa3u9NAtwIckf7Q)’s[ **IgNoct pain fic**](http://ataraxetta.tumblr.com/post/151916322805/so-i-was-gonna-ramble-about-ignoct-in-pain-as-per) and I thought, hmm, how about the aftermath of such trauma in a different light? (Also, I hope it’s okay that I write something like this ^^;) This isn’t intended to copy the author’s story at all. Wanted to include [Dream Party FFXV Ladies](https://incandescent-liberator.tumblr.com/post/147884040391/a-ffxv-game-starring-the-ladies-lunafreya-nox) as well, but I only included three out of five (mind you, this list was created before Iris was introduced, but I include her in it). Free-write, it’s a little messy. Maybe I’ll write more surrounding this idea. I hope this isn’t too confusing. **FFXV spoilers territory warning.  
**

-

“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”  
\- Ernest Hemingway

-

The crystal was far more than just a tool and in some ways, it was a living creature. It hungered and fed on those confined to its embrace. The abominable manifestation corrupted and imbued victims with astounding and horrific power.

Trapped in a terrible existence between life and death while the world crumbled for its savior.

Noctis hung in the grasp of the hellish prison. His limbs were charred and drained of its vibrant pigmentation, but he was still alive.

Thank Etro he’s alive.

Prompto had flinched and averted his eyes. “Sorry that it took so long to find you, Noct…”

“This artifact of evil…” Cor laid his hand on the crystal formation that previously belonged to Lucis. “What greater power is there than to turn an enemy’s weapon against them?”

There was no right or wrong answer to the inquiry, it was left alone as a rhetorical one. The captured crystal pulsated invitingly towards the intruders when they entered the domain.

“Why the hell are we standing around for? An invitation?” Gladiolus let out a roar as he clashed at the crystal with his blade. “I’m not letting it have him.”

Ignis had extended his arms wide enough that it felt like a piece of his heart just clicked in place when Noctis fell into them.

“…Nngh…” Noctis groaned weakly, unaware, not even conscious of his liberation.

The older man removed his coat and draped it over the weakened king, caressing his frozen cheek.

“Shh… Shh, I’m here… It’s okay, it’s over…”

Ignis truly did wish that it was.

Noctis’ mind was destroyed, but Gentiana rekindled the flicker of life in his body.

Noctis was awake, already sitting upright in bed. Disheveled inky locks were matted to one side of his head reflecting the position he took in his long slumber. His cobalt eyes were glassy and vacant as though his attention was somewhere else.

“Noct!”

But as soon as Ignis laid his hand on Noctis’ shoulder, the young king’s eyebrows narrowed and his pupils widened. It was the most animated his face had been in days, and just when Ignis’ heart swelled to see him grow more alert, what happened next rattled his already tattered nerves. Noctis screamed, the sound of metal clashing.

It was inhuman, an animalistic cry that rang the entire vicinity.

Ignis seized both of Noctis’ now convulsing shoulders. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? What is it?”

The volume of the screams escalated as though the advisor’s very touch scalded him. Noctis resisted, shivering violently as he turned his back on the older man.

“Noctis, this isn't—” Ignis took Noctis’ wrists in his hands.

Noctis’ incessant guttural cries alerted the others, who charged in the room only to be stunned by the altercation.

“What’s going on here?” Gladiolus demanded.

“Something’s wrong, I—” Ignis began desperately before a sharp prick registered to his brain.

Noctis had bit him.

The king successfully broke free from Ignis’ grasp. He leapt out of bed, legs buckled unsteadily like a newborn lamb and on all fours, he crawled desperately to the closest woman in the room. He buried face into Iris’ waist, his feral eyes huge with apprehension towards the advisor.

“Noct…” Iris stroked the young man’s hair, squeezing his shoulder gently. “Don’t you remember Ignis?”

Ignis stared down at the teeth marks on his finger. “He doesn’t… He’s forgotten me…” He whispered, swallowing his pain as he bowed his head. “Apologies for alarming all of you…” He clawed at his chest, a familiar panic making him short of breath. His lungs refused to take in oxygen. Thankfully, his legs were more cooperative.

“Iggy.” Gladiolus caught him by the arm, but didn’t proceed to do so again when Ignis jerked his arm away and ran out of the room.

Noctis was a hollow shell of his former self. What irreparable damage had the Empire wrought on their king? Was it a mistake to forcibly remove him from his crystal stasis?

Ignis had watched the progress of Noctis’ recuperation closely, praying to find remnants of the man he love. The king picked up one of the markers from the checkers board Iris had brought to him and shoved it in his mouth. The teenager had to persuade him, patting his cheeks, to spit it out.

Like a child.

He communicated with incoherent babbling like those people who spoke in tongues. Despite how difficult it was to comprehend his basic desires, he remained expressionless. Not even a hint of frustration or remorse, just a blank state. He truly was out of touch with the reality of what was going on around him. The only emotions he could convey were joy, fear, and trust. Noctis became easily fascinated by a number of things, ignoring who he was conversing or what he had been interacting with. Sometimes he demonstrated no reaction.

His mentality regressed to that _lower_ than that of a child’s.

Niflheim broke him and the mutated manifestation claimed Noctis’ mind.

Ignis couldn’t even touch him or love him the way he used to.

He couldn’t even be in the same room as him without Noctis casting suspicion on every move he made. Noctis would immediately cling to a woman’s side, be it Iris, Cidney, or Gentiana’s. There was a shared consensus made by the men that Noctis was to left alone, it would be futile to force him to remember allegiances. It was a miracle that he gravitated towards the women or nobody would’ve been able to approach him, Noctis screamed or bared his teeth otherwise. For that same reason, nobody outside their group was permitted to see the king, as far as anyone was concerned he was still recovering from his ordeal.

Initially and understandably, Ignis turned his anger on Gentiana. The Oracle’s attendant had never been fond of the Lucian king. Despite her responsibility to see to the king and the Oracle, she always did favor the latter and Lunafreya was long gone from this realm.

Ignis and Gentiana’s roles were similar to a degree, indispensable consultants and had cherished their charge unconditionally. Ignis felt despite those things they shared in common and the transparency of her true nature that he could not trust this mysterious dark-haired woman. She knew more than she revealed.

It was a fragile alliance at best.

“Your anger is justified and I would even encourage it, but directing it towards an ally renders your points moot, does it not, Count?”

Her composure was eerily calm for someone having the pleasure of this confrontation.

“But… he shouldn’t be in this state.” Ignis pathetically pleaded for the Astral’s mercy. He was prepared to go down his knees and offer everything. “Your… your healing prowess is beyond extraordinary.”

“Surely you’ve noticed the crystal fragments embedded in the king’s neck, yes? ‘Chancellor Izunia’, as he entertains calling himself, manipulated a divine gift into an abnormality through means I cannot determine… yet.”

“Well, it’s best you do figure that out.” He postulated through his teeth.

“I have a theory.” Cid’s voice intervened, causing the attendant and the advisor to turn their attention on the weapons master. “Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you know how it is in the garage. Voices, they echo.”

“Perhaps it had been unwise to carry a grave subject here…” Gentiana flashed her lukewarm emerald gaze at Ignis.

“Now, now, Lady Leviathan, can’t an old man have his say? Cidney told me how you got her back when the five of you gals traveled together.”

“For the sake of the camaraderie I shared with the mechanic, I’ll listen.” The Oracle’s attendant nod, her eyes softening. “Do speak.”

“Not taking away the fact that Noctis went through a great deal of pain, don’t you think that he cut himself off?” The old man hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jacket. “Probably did it to survive.”

Ignis blanched, incredulous. “He… chose to be like this?”

“I’m just saying that he’s in there somewhere. He’s not gone. Sonny could be… in a happy place and is just too damn comfortable to leave it.”

Ignis cringed. “I find it hard to believe…”

“I concur.” Gentiana’s ruby mouth trembled with disgust.

“Like I said, just a theory and seems to me the two of you agree on something for once.” With a sad smile, Cid clamped a hand on both of their shoulders. “You instead of fighting each other, how about putting your heads together?”

Cid’s observations struck Ignis’ curiosity and grueling dread churned his stomach. What if Noctis was trapped in a nightmare he cannot hope to escape from?

-

“How’re you holding up?” Prompto had sat down beside Ignis with two mugs of Ebony coffee in each hand “Cup of joe?”

Ignis gratefully accepted it, uncaring whether it was Ebony or not. He welcomed the heat toasting his numbed fingers. “My boyfriend’s clinically insane. I can’t be anywhere near him without feeling like a perpetrator. The Empire’s declared martial law, imposed a country-wide quarantine, and ran off with the ring. They claimed many victories since Lunafreya’s murder… And…” The brunet stared down the cup until the pervading steam fogged up his glasses. “My own feelings are irrelevant.”

“Yeah, well, pretending your feelings don’t matter isn’t very healthy. You know it’s not over yet, right?”

“I imagine there are outcomes far more worse than this. But I’m currently unable to see that.”

Ignis couldn’t bring it to himself to share what Cid concluded. All that discussion achieved were the negative thoughts he ruminated over. Stray thoughts that Noctis had been repeatedly tortured on multiple counts by the Empire long before they found him in the crystal’s embrace.

They weren’t fast enough in their rescue.

“It’s not over.” Prompto surmised with confidence, interrupting the advisor’s assumptions. “Look, that Gentiana lady said Noct could be cured and go back the way he was before.”

“She also said the probability was low.”

“We’ve been in tougher spots. Fuck, we evened those odds.”

Ignis unsuccessfully fought back a smile. “Yes, yes, we have.” He agreed.

“So think we should go find that cure?” Prompto grinned as he nudged his friend’s shoulder with his own. “Not much we can do now.”

The Immortal Marshal and the King’s Shield entered the room, having overheard the gunslinger’s and advisor’s conversation.

“It’s undeniable that we require a king to reclaim Lucis.” Cor began, his knuckles white from gripping the handle of his katana. “As of now, he’s incompetent to lead. We have to fall back on temporary leadership.”

“We know that we have to get our old Noct back.” Gladiolus interjected. “But the Niffs aren’t gonna sit around until we do. Where do we even begin looking for this miracle cure?”

Prompto rose to his feet. “Either way, we’re in big trouble if we don’t do something.”

“How long could our resistance withstand the Empire’s bombardment?” Cor walked over to the fireplace, shaking his head. “Their factories replenish faster than we could gather soldiers.”

“Surrendering is out of the question.” The blond’s eyes blazed with an inner fire. “Noct would never want that.”

“We need to buy time, get Noct right as rain, and repay the Empire ten-fold.” The Shield punched his open palm, cracking his knuckles. “I’m fired up.”

“Make that a hundred-fold.” Ignis spoke finally, the other men stared at him before smiling from ear to ear. The advisor knew that they were counting on him to disclose their next course of action and it did no good just waiting around for a solution to fall on his lap.

-

Ignis was reluctant to leave. They couldn’t take Noctis with them, he would impede on their mission. He didn’t feel right having to leave the crown king’s side.

The Lucian Base, home of the resistance and followers to the Lucian king and the late-Oracle, would keep Noctis hidden for a time. Cor remained the acting chief commander of the volunteer army and the mercenaries he enlisted, Gentiana decided to leave with the party embarking for the cure, and as for everyone else, they would remain behind.

Noctis wore a dark, inconspicuous cloak to fend off the cold and unwanted attention, the advisor safely assumed that one of the women dressed him. His gaze wandered as he articulated his wild observations with “ughs” and “ahhs”.

Cidney followed Ignis’ eyes before a charming smile broke across her face. “Don’t ya worry about it one bit now. We’ll keep a close eye on His Majesty.”

“I… We… are in your debt.” Ignis politely regarded the head mechanic with a nod before addressing his lover, “Noctis…”

Ignis felt the pure and uncomplicated love surge through his chest when Noctis looked upon him. Though currently unrequited, it is a strong emotion that cannot be dispelled by a difficult trial, that much he knew was true. One day, Noctis will be fully restored and his light would drive away the darkness of this cruel and merciless world.

Those beautiful blue eyes weren’t empty anymore. Once clear and brimmed with the wonders of galaxies, were so deep and endless as black holes that Ignis found himself falling in them, and his heart began to melt.

“Everything will be… all right.”


	2. Stars in Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From my tumblr: BAM~ One IgNoct request done and like three more spring up. Is it because it’s the pairing or because of my writing style? Hmm, who knows? Well, anon, I know for a fact that I never got asked for this one. Uh, I hope you don’t mind me taking advantage of this prompt to continue an on-going project I’ve started. Read “Shh... Shh, I’m here... It’s okay, it’s over...” or By Your Side (Ao3) for the context, Embrace is a continuation after this. I’d title this “Stars in Your Eyes” on Ao3, listed as the second chapter of this story. It would be interesting if I had prompts or questions regarding this story that I could answer lol 
> 
> Anon, if you’re not okay with my decision to take your request this way, let me know and I’ll do something else for you ^^
> 
> 32\. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” -- IgNoct

##  [Send me a pairing and a number and I’ll write you a drabble](https://loveiscosmicsin.tumblr.com/post/143345426818/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)

**32\. “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” -- IgNoct**

 -

_I’m caught up when you look at me_  
You let my heart breathe with ease  
Chasing stars in our galaxy  
Making our own make-believe  
  
I want you when the sun goes low  
Your body warmth wants me close  
You say you’re always by my side  
‘Till my blood runs dry  
\- “Drive” by Glades

 

-

 

“It was an all-or-nothing gamble, but we did it.” Noctis’ shoulders rose and fell, fatigued by the conclusion of the battle. “We won.”

Ignis was captivated by astonishing display of crystal fragments and royal arms orbiting around Noctis. They illuminated in the twilight when he relinquished his arms, the motes collectively framing him before disappearing entirely. This was the true power of the King of Light and Noctis answered his calling.

The advisor, too, allowed his daggers, augmented by the king’s power, to disintegrate. They may have won back territory from enemy hands and thus, expanded the Lucian Resistance’s borders, but justification through victory was unsettling. They spent many nights crafting and tailoring a strategy that met with the terrain and forces they would encounter. A diversion in the plan could’ve ultimately ended them.

“Not what I call a perfectly solid plan. You could’ve mentioned it.” Ignis bluntly interjected. “You always did take serious risks…” The advisor jerked his chin downward, clenching his jaw. “You need to act with the self-assured poise and maturity that befits a king.”

“Prepare to be disappointed.” Noctis professed quietly as he studied the horizon. “I don’t think I’d ever be your ideal king.”

“I misspoke…” Ignis adjusted his glasses, swallowing hard. “I didn’t mean to bombard you with a lecture.”

He was grateful that everything worked out and Noctis came to no harm. That was more important than anything. It was vital that the king remained standing or the campaign would end.

But…

Noctis was his best friend, his own man first before anything, no matter how great the gravity of his title. Ignis cherished him for what he was, not who.

“Guess I had you going back there, huh, Specs? Sorry.” Embarrassed, he scratched the back of his head. “I don’t think I can be myself without you guys having my back. I want to be the kind of king you deserve, but in my own way rather than masquerading as my old man’s shadow.” Noctis took a deep breath. “Think you can wait a little longer till I get there?”

Ignis chuckled. King Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV was unlike Lucis’ line of conventional monarchs, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “I think that can be arranged, provided you give an agreeable timetable.”

Noctis nodded, looking relieved. “All right, I won’t let you down.”

“You won’t. Because I believe in you and in what we are doing.” Ignis affirmed, dazed when his best friend’s eyes, vivid as the galaxies they had studied, were on him. He longed to keep that light alive until his dying breath. His devotion had no bounds. “Forgive me for saying this but I’m so terribly jealous of losing you to the world that demands so much. You’re everything that I ask for. I…

"I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

The confession clumsily fumbled out of Ignis’ mouth. He wanted to say those heartfelt words for so long though the timing and the structure could’ve been better executed.

He was in love with Noctis, almost like he had been all his life. But that wasn’t the case. The love was always there, it took on many forms until it all orchestrated to a decree beyond admiration and respect.

It was unconditional, intimate, longstanding, and passionate. The many ways the advisor could go around defining it could never hit the mark on his heart.

Noctis laughed, a throaty laugh that crossed between endearing and infuriating. It wasn’t done out of malicious intent, but the advisor’s face burned regardless.

“This…” Ignis was flabbergasted, fearing he made a deadly error. He haven’t considered if those feelings were to be requited. “This is no laughing matter! I—”

Noctis’ hand encroached into the advisor’s line of vision that Ignis jerked back. The king gently caressed the advisor’s forehead with his fingers. Ignis gasped, his heart on standstill and incredulous eyes fixated on the younger man’s pensive expression.

“Ignis.” The name rolled gracefully off the monarch’s tongue. His cobalt eyes softened, glittering like a starry night, his stance assertive. “Can… can I kiss you?”

Words failed the advisor that all he could do was nod. Since childhood, Ignis could always read and anticipate Noctis’ thoughts and actions, and he would always have a response. He never saw this coming.

Noctis appeared relieved by the response and his hand cupped Ignis’ cheek before closing the distance between them.

As Noctis stood on his toes and succulent lips caressed Ignis’, the advisor believed that moment was the happiest than he ever dreamed possible. The king was more than Ignis deserved and he prayed that he would be able to make Noctis’ days easier.

Noctis whispered playfully, pausing half-way for another kiss. The pad of his thumb stroked the advisor’s bottom lip. “And this is the part where you close your eyes…”

“Noct.” Ignis jolted awake. His vision was blurry but he could recognize the Coleman brand on his bedroll a mile away. The advisor’s heart sank. Noctis wasn’t there.

Of course he wouldn’t be. Noctis was back in the Lucian Base, where he was safe.

“Why did I have to wake up?”

The guilt ate at him. How could he fallen asleep when his lover haven’t been well? How dare he dream about such a fond memory when Noctis could be inflicted with his monsters? Noctis had always been a deep sleeper, but he always recalled every detail of his nightmares…

“Hey, you’re awake.” Gladiolus’ voice was like smoke and gravel as he walked to Ignis’ side.

The advisor sat up, retrieving his glasses. “How long was I asleep?” The campfire had been extinguished some time ago. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a certain blond’s head poking outside the tent’s entrance, comatose while his limbs were tangled by layers of quilts.

“An hour. About time or you would’ve burned yourself out.” The King’s Shield crossed his arms. “You haven’t exactly been getting that beauty rest since we rescued Noct.”

Ignis rested his arm over a knee. “I haven’t been sleeping when he had been captured…”

“Point taken.”

Ignis recalled informing everyone that he couldn’t sleep in the tent, fabricating a shoddy excuse. The camp site was too quiet, he missed the lively activity back at the base. He had rolled out a bedroll and before he knew it, he fell asleep.

Ignis raised a blanket that had been draped over his body. He didn’t bring it out. “Did you put this over me? Thank you.”

“Nah, that wasn’t me. Gentiana must’ve before grabbing me. She told me to keep an eye on you.”

Gladiolus shrugged when Ignis raised an eyebrow at this.

“Where is she now?”

“Out on a walk. I figured she can handle being alone by herself.” The sentinel pointed to a secluded area covered with invasive forestry. “Think she ever sleeps?”

The advisor whipped the blanket off his legs and rose up his feet. “Only one way to find out.”

“Need some company? Someone’s gotta be your peacemaker.”

“I wouldn’t instigate a fight. No, we’ll be fine. You should stay here in case Prompto wakes up and finds himself alone.”

The Oracle’s attendant was in the grove, not far from the campsite. Despite having to clear the path to find her, Ignis found Gentiana standing before a pond. It’s shimmery but calm surface shadowed the full moon, but her attention wasn’t drawn to it. The clearing in the trees above revealed an impressive view of stars painted ceremoniously the night sky. A breeze, persistent and laced with a refreshing chill, caused the lush flora to rustle. Even though Ignis drew his hands to rub at his arms, Gentiana was unperturbed by the cold despite a shawl dangling loosely over her shoulders.

“Why are you here?” The dark-haired woman inquired without turning around to face the advisor.

Ignis wasn’t sure how to answer that. To say that he was concerned about her well-being would be a lie. Gentiana wasn’t a guest at their expense and their current objective wasn’t one to take lightly, but she chose to be with them. She was validated as the only one who could cure his lover and that was enough justification to tolerate her presence. He would regret it greatly if something, be it his impulsiveness or something that could’ve been prevented by his hands, caused her to abandon them.

“Does sleep ever come easily to you?” Ignis posed Gladiolus’ question as he cautiously stood by the attendant’s side.

“Rest is not what I consider a necessity. I have lain dormant for eons against my will. There is much… I still have to process.”

Of course, the Astral disguised in the ageless form of a woman didn’t disclose her thoughts. She asserted that she was an ally of Lucis and the True King. Her role had been passive, providing wisdom to those she deemed worthy, but couldn’t actively interfere in the lives of mortals. The gall and tenacity that immortals possessed, ignoring prayers and witnessing humanity’s fall from grace.

Ignis followed her emerald gaze to the night sky, he deliberately initiated a conversation.

“When we were children, Noct and I often went stargazing. At one point, he couldn’t forgive me when I told him that the stars and constellations remained in the same destinations. He truly thoughts the stars moved every night.”

A smile emerged on the advisor’s lips. It was so long ago, but it evoked a number of feelings with the same clarity as he had experienced back then. Noctis’ refusal at Ignis’ veracity led to the Crown Prince swearing he would prove his friend false about the stars. Ignis couldn’t even remember why he was so adamant on it, but Noctis apologized and asked to go see the stars once more. There, he bombarded the advisor with many questions despite having read about the information in the textbooks.

Gentiana regarded the memory with a tilt of her head. “Stargazing is no longer a favored recreation?”

“Things were… a little strained in our adolescence…” Ignis began, swallowing hard at the constant disagreements and how easily tempers had disconnected them. “We recovered. It wasn’t until we departed the Crown City for the first time that we witnessed a meteor shower. It was a quite beautiful sight without the capital’s pollution affecting it. We needn’t use a telescope.”

“Lunafreya and I had also took interest in alstoronomy. It was included in the curriculum Niflheim mandated for young women, but we took to a spiritual approach.”

“You’re referring to her sacred duties?”

“Even being at her side brought me peace. There were often times words were exchanged and others, none, but I wanted to be with her, always. We had our own system of communication. Deciphering codes, solving puzzles and word play, alluding beyond fictitious riddles and poems for a message… Every effort a precaution when our actions were monitored under the regime… Everything clicked into place for Lucis Caelum’s ascension to the throne.”

Gentiana never spoke so much about herself or her relationship with the late-Oracle, at least not voluntary.

“What are you suggesting telling me this…?”

“You are not a solitary creature, Ignis Scientia. You seek to alleviate your suffering. Anger does much more harm to the vessel than poured onto another. I do not know how much the king is aware of your presence or if full restoration is possible. But if I were in your position, I would never stop conversing with him. Your voice may unlock key memories.”

“I… Thank you.”

Instead of acknowledging the advisor’s gratitude, the mysterious woman closed her eyes. “A shooting star approaches… It would behoove you to make a wish.” She brought her clasped hands to her lips. “Lunafreya’s words.”

Just as Gentiana predicted, a streak of light danced across the night. Though he nearly missed it, Ignis wished upon the fallen star. Noctis had also believed in such superstition, preferring that a magical essence was associated with it than scientific fact.

Noctis didn’t put the stars in the sky, but he became Ignis’ whole universe. It would only be fair if Ignis brought them back to his eyes.


	3. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From my tumblr: Embrace is another segment to the following order: “Shh… Shh, I’m here… It’s okay, it’s over…”/Helpless, “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”/Stars in Your Eyes, and Embrace is the third chapter. All three so far belong to this collection By Your Side (Ao3), number of chapters are yet to be declared and I confess that if I get any IgNoct requests they may end up in this story. It’s a IgNoct fic though it mostly focuses on the characters, including the ladies (Iris isn’t excluded), the veterans, and the situations haven’t been very kind to them since Noctis had been rescued. He went through a lot of shit, anything you can think of, that’s what happened. He did put on a fight until the end and it cost him his sanity.

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”  
\- Ernest Hemingway

-

The master mechanic, Cid Sophiar, bore his critical gaze upon the vivid but listless cobalt eyes staring back, adrift.

“I know you’re in there, King Noctis. Even like this you’re not invalid. Everyone is bending backwards for you more than ever. Don’t you think it’s time to wake up now?”

The old man’s words had no effect on the young man. Noctis held an indecipherable yet neutral expression, his mind lacking coherent thought and inept to process basic vocabulary. Even with his constant vigilance around the same sex, he was at ease around Cid, so long as there was a distance between them.

“In through one ear and out the other, eh, sonny? Enigmatic words are lost on the young.” Cid kneeled before the young king. His expression pained as he eyed the children’s toy tools set, large enough to prevent accidents and safe to handle, on the king’s lap. Since the king had been temporarily placed in Cidney’s care, he mimicked their profession and so they acquired a kit for him. He had no idea what to do with them most of the time, but it kept him busy.

“You take after your father…” He said, softly. “Perhaps it’s a parent’s mercy for not having to see their son this way.”

“Paw-Paw, are you teasing His Majesty again?”

Cid cast a quick glance to see his ebullient and independent granddaughter leaning over the railing of the second floor. Cidney waved cheerfully before descending the stairs to meet with her grandfather and the king.

“Why are you here, sweet pea?” Rising to his feet, the old man wiped at the tears he didn’t realize he had been shedding on his sleeve. “Did you recalibrate the weapons system like I told you to?” He asked, tilting the brim of his hat downward.

The proud man wished that he was much like his granddaughter, always keeping positive through perilous and heartbreaking circumstances. Perhaps he was just an emotional old man who couldn’t keep his head out of the past.

“Fixin’ to.” The young head mechanic had her hands behind her hips. “I was in the middle of countin’ the ticks in the power couplings, but all the ruckus going on made it hard to put two and two together.”

“So I gave you the Hammerhead then and now you want the entire Hammerhead II to yourself? Trying to run your Paw-Paw out of business?” The master mechanic jammed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, scoping the huge garage that was also part of the Lucian Base.

It had been a great honor for the two mechanics when they accepted the invitation to join the Resistance. They were all the family they had left in this world. Despite missing the auto body shop in Duscae, Cidney fell head over heels with and even christened the military garage Hammerhead II. Being a descendant of one of the late king’s companions, the young woman originally left the first Hammerhead Station to enlist in Lunafreya’s journey. It came naturally that she continued dedicating herself to the cause.

“Naw, I would never. Everyone knows that I got plenty left to learn from the expert.” The blonde dusted her hands on her denim shorts before twirling a plastic wrench before the king. “Hello, Your Majesty. I didn’t keep ya, did I? Reckon it’s time for supper.”

Cidney was remarkable at her age but her modesty left little to be desired. She graduated from repairing old farm trucks to recovering a fully-operational Niflheim tank just in time of a firefight. Cid felt that the apprentice surpassed the master.

Cidney helped the king to his feet, zipping up his hoodie. “You think the boys will be all right?” She asked in a timid whisper.

“Of course, they got Lady Leviathan with ‘em.”

“I’m more worried that they won’t get along with Gentiana.” The woman turned around, huffing a breath. “A lil’ rough around the edges, but she’s the biggest ray of sunshine I know.”

Cid chuckled. Cidney often recanted her fond memories of the late Oracle, the Astral attendant, and the mercenary commodore that she would defend them adamantly. Gentiana had left with the king’s friends to find a cure that would reverse the damage done to Noctis. Ignis, in particular, had been volatile with the attendant long before Noctis returned to them.

Cid noticed how the king’s brow furrowed. Cidney, concerned, turned her attention to the young man. Tears poured down his cheeks endlessly as Noctis brought his hands to his arms, his groans strained with sorrow and breathing labored. The transparent crystal fragments in his neck glowed forebodingly and attacked with a vengeance. Noctis’ fingers curled around his neck, clawing at the marred flesh and drew beads of blood in their wake.

Cidney opened her mouth to speak as she reached out to touch the king, only for him to violently lash out at her. The king meant no harm and the mechanic had dodged the slap in time.

“Get a healer!” Cid ordered when the king fell to his knees, writhing in agony. Sounds ripping out of his throat were the wails of daemons. He didn’t see Cidney run off.

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to send Gentiana off. She was the only one who had some grasp of Noctis’ ailment. Nobody outside their circle was supposed to know. Cid did what he could do: wait it out.

-

Something was missing.

The warmth of the sun without the glare —  he had basked in its light and its heat without the fear of being burned. There’s no harshness associated to it. It was simply there and never ceased to shine. The sunlight had ebbed away, beckoning the frigid overcast.

It was gone.

It had a silhouette, a name, a presence. None that he could recollect, but it was somehow important to him. Had this feeling been always there? If it returned, would this constitute as a loss?

Noctis gritted his teeth and shoved his hand toward the vast darkness.

The skin immediately combusted. Bright, scorching hues danced on his fingers before rendering the flesh and muscles black. Smoke rose and tickled the inside of his nose. The smell of it made his stomach turn. Blood sizzled like it was nothing and the king wiggled the slender white digits of his hand when they appeared. Tears welled his eyes and his hand shot back like a spring-loaded trap.

He looked down at the miserable stump. It was already regenerating itself. The liquified flesh encompassed and repaired the damage, leaving no remnants of the injury behind. He flexed it, it was good as new, but the pain would linger a little longer.

Assessing the perimeters of the barrier, Noctis wondered what would become of him if he forced his entire body past it. Part of him wanted to go past it but a kernel of doubt chained him to where it was safe instead of prodding for an opening.

Curiosity drove him to needlessly repeat the vicious cycle. But motivation was at the minimum to do more. It passed the time and he suspected that he was adjusting to the pain. Maybe he needed to feel something than the emptiness that presided within.

Sometimes Noctis felt he understood why he subjected himself to the routine. Voices would echo until the point that he would be deafened by it.

Any hope of being any closer to what truth he sought just slipped away after the ordeal and again, silence became his constant companion. Whatever outstanding revelation that he was supposed to find became minuscule in light of basic needs.

He crouched down, scoping out the safe areas untouched by the barrier and curled up in a ball. He decided to rest. A blanket of warm was draped over his shoulders and he reached out to nothing, yet it permeated to his core.

It was peaceful. Why would he even want to leave?

-

Noctis summoned a room with hundreds of doors in his mind.

Starting with ones furthest away, the doors shut closed. The slamming amplified and reverberated throughout the narrow walls, blocking out the guttural grunts so close yet so remote.

The doors kept advancing, slamming harder and faster. Behind clenched eyes and balled fists, he fought to retain his focus, not to be alarmed and forced himself to refrain from giving his captors the satisfaction of his pain. If he could just keep at it until the last door shuts, then it would be his victory.

The only thing that shattered his control was his own immodest cry when it finally ended. Billions of colors blindingly exploded behind his irises before shades of red occupied his sight. He blinked back the iron and salt stinging his vision.

Million lights all washed away.

The guards continued to torture him even after he passed out.

When the king came to, he found himself in a cold, metallic room. Isolated, apathetic, impartial. Unspeakable things and unbridled cruelties resided here. He was bleeding and confined to a rack, seemingly-organic chains coiled around his arms, legs, and torso. His eyes drifted over to a chrome tray beside him. Bloodied apparatus glinted menacingly and Noctis’ stomach turned that those had been used on a person. Niflheim had never been known for its theatrics.

Feet approached Noctis’ limited line of vision but the effort of focusing was dizzying. The flow of blood had pooled to his lungs and head from the angle the rack gravitated at. His limbs ached at the restraints. The resistance he maintained proved fruitless. The thorns inevitably sapped out his strength and sent his body aflame.

“Remarkable. Just remarkable. Never had such a device exceed all of my expectations.” A portly and heavily armored elderly man appraised, stroking the rack before addressing the king. “You feel its embrace, do you not? The more you struggle to escape, the more pain it inflicts. It functions as its own entity. Judge, executioner, and jury yet compassionate in its own right. It knows true suffering.

“You are truly suffering.”

Noctis evoked forth a blade, intending to drive it through the torturer’s heart. It refused to adopt solid form against the wielder’s wishes, materializing faintly before shattering like glass. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the crystal motes, as did his preservation, crumble away like dust

The armored man cackled gleefully at the king’s horrified expression. “You cannot summon your royal arsenal here, Your Majesty. You have been stripped of it.” His glacial beady eyes met Noctis’. “We have not been acquainted. I am Verstael, head researcher of the Empire’s Magitek Infantry.”

Noctis glared. “I don’t give a _fuck_! He seethed, grappling at the coils to get at least one hand free.

Needles pricked his already numbed skin, shooting up foreign elements, nutrients and toxins, into his bloodstream. His resistance once more ebbed and his arms would’ve fell slack if he hadn’t been restrained.

"What… what button are you pushing?” He stammered, weakly, fighting against the sedatives. “How are you doing this?”

“I knew you were sensible.” Verstael raised his hands, empty. “The machine does all the work. I have not gathered all the details for you are its first subject. Chancellor Izunia was most gracious in allowing me to continue my research on it.”

Noctis’ chest tightened, his body rejecting the mechanism’s embrace, and the seizures began. The torture mechanism sensed this and lowered the victim to the floor, cradling the young king as he were its child. Instruments were at bay to tend at his wounds and to ensure that he didn’t choke on his own vomit. He experienced a number of deaths, only to be revived and endured the punishment once more.

It went on like this for hours. Torture, treatment, and revivals as Verstael mused over his notes. The researcher mildly observed, tracing metal rods over the welts and lacerations the king received. The slid into his flesh without any effort and Verstael raved about encountering the results the same way after Noctis.

The guards dragged the young king into the deep bowels of the fortress. A lone corridor led to the Crystal, the final destination and true intention of his imprisonment. Scalding steam obscured Noctis’ vision, unable to distinguish even the armored soldiers at his side. But even if he could, he was unable to tear his gaze from the startling sight of what formerly belonged to Lucis. The aura around the Crystal was demonic and pulsated towards him as if it had been waiting for him. Growing from the top of the corrupted manifestation were synthetic wires, which leached down towards the abyss.

Empty space in all its grace.

They mounted him in the maw of the Crystal.  

Crystal shards grafted around his limbs as they sent white-hot signals to every cell in his body. Magic cauterized his wounds and unknown power surged into his body all at once. When Noctis thought he lost his voice long ago from previous torture, being forced to consume raw power made him delirious for death.

“Noctis, killing you as a mortal will bring me scant satisfaction.” Chancellor Ardyn Izunia smirked as he watched from afar. He extended an arm with theatric ovation towards his ensnared prey. “Claim the Crystal’s power. Arise as the True King.”

Endlessness won’t wash away.

Endlessness is here to stay.


End file.
